I see...

Well...

Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. This person is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle. Technically sound, but socially impossible. This person reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. This person has delusions of adequacy. Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. This person should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

http://zork.cs.uvic.ca/humour/fitness_reports.html

Oh and my Fav!

This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

MY HERO!